life may be sweeter for this, i don’t know… see how it feels in the end. thanks for the laughs and the music and the wonder, it’s been real

send me good vibes and cool grateful dead stuff! rambleonkatie@gmail.com

and it will return to you in the form of my abundant love, gems i’ve turned up, and maybe some ramblin too<3 adios folks

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Anonymous asked: He hates to be called Steve! If you were ever truly his friend, you would know that. Plus, he has been gone for 2 months, And I am the one who has been here to pick up the pieces and handle things. The worse part is, you dont even care how you hurt him, you used him and walked away. You dont deserve a friend like him! I sent the anons, b/c he could never do something like that and would be pissed at me for doing so, but you should hurt like he did! This is last 1, out of respect for him.

i would super appreciate you talking me personally, not anonymously. you don’t know how i hurt for him. and you don’t know how i hurt for what you’ve done. you sent me messages about my father molesting me. you’re damn right he would be pissed at you. and that probably makes him better than both of us.

i don’t know what i was for him, if i was “ever truly his friend”, but it’s not for lack of my trying. he told me from the beginning we could always be friends, and i really thought he meant it, that we didn’t have to physically involved. i wanted to believe it cause i felt a really deep connection with him even before we’d messed around. when i tried to make “just friends” happen because i was becoming involved with someone else, he got angry and left. after that, he pushed me away, refused to respond to my messages, didn’t want to see me to try to talk about what happened. you’re right i didn’t know him, i didn’t know what that was a sign of, didn’t handle it correctly. but i tried as best i could to be there for him. he didn’t want me to be. he told me to leave him be. and i’ve tried that too, but i still think about him all the time.

i don’t know man, i’m really trying to figure out how i should feel about you. i know you hated to see him hurtin, but what? you thought i was the source of all his pain? thought you’d make him better if you made me feel like shit? thought you knew what happened between us? i know i lost something valuable. he saved my life. and i’m forever grateful for that. and thanks to you, i’ve spent part of the past five-six months wondering if he’s been sending me the vile, degrading, traumatizing shit that you’ve been sending me. who else was it supposed to be? who was i supposed to believe would take the time and have such personal information about me?